What is the ‘art of deprivation’?
My journey with deprivation.
It stems from a place in my past, where I felt as though I couldn’t access what I needed emotionally. So I learned to deprive myself of the things which I needed, wanted, desired and made me feel alive. There is peace and there is safety in deprivation; because asking makes you vulnerable. And when you do not get what you ask for, you cultivate a sense of rejection — and then protection.
What is interesting to me about the idea of deprivation, is that we still do it in so many aspects of our life. Deprivation can show up for so many people by not:
- working out
- taking vitamins
- eating food that make us feel energised and good
- going out and seeing friends
- capitalising on opportunities
- being kinds to ourselves in our self-talk
I sat with my pysch last week and wanted to uncover the ‘why’ which was still withholding the things which I know make me feel better, and at times still feeling the grip of addiction and workaholism.
She looked at me and said ‘schema of deprivation’.
It was a lightbulb moment. A deep ‘a-ha’ moment because I realised that I was still trying to protect myself. What it has really boiled down to for myself is this idea that deprivation keeps feeding the victim mentality within me. A victim mentality that many of us hold onto, doesn’t have a strong grip in courage, vulnerability, authenticity, joy and faith. They do hold strong in deprivation. Victim mentality doesn’t encourage full responsibility, risk taking or alignment. If I am going to continue on my path of actualising my dreams and overcoming upper-limiting in my life/business/faith — I can not be in the deprived victim space.
So, how do you then choose to go about softening the deprivation story?
It’s not always easy or comfortable — sometimes we struggle with the weight of the pull — but what makes it possible is a front made of love and a back build of courage.
Brene Brown “Braving the Wilderness”
As I continue to explore my own pattern of deprivation, I ask myself how I can show much with more compassion. How I can flood my thoughts with love and grace. How I can lean into my knowing of faith to help me surrender even more to love and release of my victim.
It isn’t talked about a lot, or maybe I haven’t seen a lot about the art of deprivation. But I think it’s an important aspect of development, consciousness and courageous living.
I have decided to unearth my blog a bit. I used to blog daily (often multiplies times per day) when I first started this blog in 2008. I can’t believe that I have been in the blogging world for almost 8 years. I’m excited to be sharing more of me with you in this space.