WOMEN have sex drives…don’t tell anyone. Most women also feel as though there’s a constant need to lose weight, watch what they’re eating, and not give into the negative self-talk that riddles our minds.
When Reader’s Digest asked women when they feel sexiest, they said it was when they weighed less than they do now. In fact, 80% said that losing weight would improve their sex life.
Well, isn’t that great. Here we want sex, but don’t really want it because most positions aren’t flattering and quite honestly we want to feel ‘skinny’. Which usually means, not after a huge meal, not during a bloated day, not after a tired day, not after eating chocolate to cope with a bad day..so basically once a month we’ll feel sexy, skinny, and horny. AWESOME!
Don’t fret, men are feeling the same way that women are about their bodies as well. According to the article “Sex and Weight Loss”
In our survey, 35% of men said they would love to have a body like Brad Pitt’s in the film Troy.
Men showed their own insecurities. A whopping 70% thought a slimmer waistline would lead to better sex, and 42% said they would go shirtless only in front of their partner.
It is interesting because what’s happening is that women are equating their ability to enjoy sex with being and/or feeling skinny and this mentality is in part rubbing off on men (no pun intended).
When it comes to sex, though, what do we know in regards to what is actually going on? There’s one aspect of people reporting that they would like to feel this or that, or look like this or that, but are they having sex?
Despite idealised images, men don’t really expect (or even want) their own wives or girlfriends to be supermodel-thin. And women aren’t looking for Brad Pitt in their beds. Yes, overweight people are having good sex. They know what researchers and scientists are beginning to uncover: a great sexual experience comes mostly from our minds, not from perfectly proportioned bodies.
We are all buying into the Brad Pitts, Heidi Klums (yes she is gorgeous)..but honestly it’s how we feel inside.
the biggest improvement in their sex lives came when they had lost just 10% of their body weight.
What’s more, having meaningful sex induces the release of the hormone oxytocin. “It makes a person feel love and empathy,” says heart surgeon Mehmet Oz, co-author of the You series of health books. “Meaningful sex can also lower blood pressure,” he continues, “and it tells the gut not to send signals to the brain to eat.”
There’s a bit to digest here and quite honestly every survey is going to have different insights into what causes people’s sex drives to increase and decrease. But what is interesting is that sex within a committed, mentally stable, affectionate and supportive relationship can actually provide the spark to get the weight removed. BUT, a women (or man) has to mentally feel as though they are attractive to their partner, regardless of size, in order to have healthy sex.
So, let go of the baggage that we all carry in our minds about what we should and shouldn’t be. What we should be is healthy. Healthy in what we eat, healthy in how we exercise, healthy in how we are in relationships and healthy in our sex lives. It’s takes a lot to be aware and discuss the ‘health’ level of our own personal and relational lives. But it’s worth it. Hey, you might even lose more while getting more..WINNER!