When You Have No Idea What You Want
I sat on the other side the world. A split screen with the beautiful Ashley, chatting about social media management.
I was searching for someone to tell me what I needed to do. I listed my figures, my engagements, my platforms, my freebies…giving her the rundown on my business.
Then she casually said ‘so what do you want to get out of all of this?’
What did I want to get out of this?
Umm….it felt like my head started to spin off of my body. I had thousands of followers, this, that and the other. I knew what I *could* do with automated systems, where I needed to spend money, and even started dreaming of what I needed to create so that I could keep ranking higher. Convert more. Chase something.
I sat there on skype, dumbfounded. I didn’t have words, all I could think about was: ‘So what do I want out of this?’. I wasn’t chasing fame (thank god!), but I did want to influence people. I also knew that I didn’t want to hustle, and I didn’t want to play the online social media games, and I 100% didn’t want to align with anything that didn’t feel good.
I have done that before, it cost me $30K. I know what that feels like.
So what did I want? I had no idea. But I knew what I didn’t want –> to lose track of my authentic connection with my audience. But what I wanted to say to them wasn’t clear to me at that moment.
We often run into this in our businesses. We know that we want to say something new, fresh, different, but we have no idea what we want to say. We end up at a ‘fork in the road’.
Do we keep pushing through creating stuff, for the sake of creating it -or- do we sit with it?
I tried something different, I chose to sit with it. I clean slated my whole entire 4,000 subscribers email list and asked them if they wanted back in. I pulled videos, I finalised my website with a totally new color palate, messaging, content and images. I slowly chipped away at my podcast, even though it was 3 months behind schedule. I said no to things which I should have said yes to. I retreated a bit. I asked God for protection in my relationships, for more incidental park visits, for nourishment. For His word to be spoken into me.
To restore my heart. To nourish me. To be present in life. To find inspiration from the mundane.
When we get stuck with our messaging we often think we will find it in the next program, next thing, next $10,000k dumped down into someone else who isn’t attached to the core of who you are — because neither are you.
I emailed Ashley back and thanked her for the question because it was the question I had been wanting to ask but wasn’t brave enough to.