I have to preface this with, yes I know..I think to much. It’s one of the beauty of education/socilisation..but it’s also one of the most hindering things about my personality. I can think myself, mostly, into a black hole. I have highlighted this pattern before…in previous blogs….but it’s something that consumes a lot of my energy.
I think that there’s a lot of reasons for this, but quite honestly I have to blame a bit upon my socialisation as a human being.
When, WHEN, in any of our lives have we ever been told/programmed with ‘That’s enough!’?
We live in a culture of ‘better/faster/stronger/cheaper/richer/skinner’ anything but what we actually have. It’s obsessive and destructive. It ruins the moment, it stifles careers, make people bankrupt, ruins relationships, causes people to binge/starve.
I guess what I am trying to get as is that it consumes me. I want to be skinner, know where my new relationship is going, obsess about being too fat, not skinny enough, not a good enough girlfriend, not honest enough, not working enough, not doing enough..OMG…what should I be working towards now??????
It’s sick and stupid.
I just needed to write this, get it out of my head..because it’s really impacting my life right now. I am not enjoying the beauty of my life because I am so obsessed with more/better/higher/faster/thinner/more committed/mind-blowing _____________________.
No more. Enjoy Michelle Enjoy!