Hope you have had/are having a sweet Sunday.
I invite you along to join my Magic Monday weekly inbox wand of sparkly goodness to kick your week off. Short, simple and intention filled gems for your week ahead.
I’d love to have you along!
I have had a huge breakhrough, I will write more about it later. Thank you Amber and Zoe for being the most beautiful friends and for supporting me through your guidance in overcoming and connecting with my soul. It’s been such a journey. I have known a lot of things, in fact I think I could write a book on how to un-f–k yourself. But I never felt it in my heart.
The truly divine space.
Now I do.
I won’t run from the freedom I know I now have. I’m going to go and nourish it and honour it.
I don’t know if I have much more to say then this today.
Once you stop making excuses and stop being held back by fear…you will blossom. Don’t be afraid of your own success. Don’t dumb down what skills you have. Don’t like the comfort of life and the excuses of the perception of the effort you may have to do kill your dreams.
The thing is that YOU have something special that you can offer. Whether it’s mindset, support, advice, strategy or knowledge in a specific skill, you have to value that information and find the people who need it. ~Denise from @LuckyBitch
So go get sticky and enjoy the sweet outside of your comfort zone.
For some reason, I have been reflecting a lot on when I felt the best of my life.
When did you feel totally insync with who you are / When you’re feeling fit, healthy, stable
When you really feel like yourself.
For me, that was the summer of 2006..right before I moved to Australia. The funny thing is, is that I still had such a distorted image of my own person then. When i look back on my time now (wiser and more tired and in a totally different frame of mind) I realised that I didn’t actually enjoy all of that I had at that time. I think we can always be guilty of that, not actually seeing how good things were/are.
I don’t know if I want to go back to that specific time in my life. What I do struggle with now is actually putting myself first. Being a mum and wife makes the commitment to putting yourself first harder. And I intellectually know that when I do out myself first, I am always able to give to those people around me in a better state. I think that in some points I do grieve a bit of the frivoulsou-ness of being single and child-less…but what I grieve more is that I have some how lost the sense of making time for myself and having the space to really nurture myself.
i don’t think I have the magic answer to how to get back to “that place” and I am weary of trying to get back to any place in our history. BUT the foundation of why that place was good is in that I MADE time to nourish my own being, spending time exercising and resting and nourishing. That is what we want. Ultimately we want to feel whole and nourished and loved. When we step back and actually acknowledge that and start making changes to embrace that…we get to the place we’ve either want to be or are working towards.
So, Summer of 2006 was great. I have many lessons to learn for who I was then.
I took my daughter over to see one of my good friends. We were chatting away and one of the re-occuring things that we talk about is our own self-development and growth.
We had a light-hearted but also deep friendship … the kind which I cherish. We were chatting away and I was telling her about how AMAZING my session with Faye was and I was reflecting on my last post. I had said to her:
I signed up with WeightWatchers again. It’s costing me a fortune. I don’t know why I did it, out of desperation. But what I’ve realised after my session with Faye is that so much of the reason why we don’t succed in making changes in our lives, is because we’re not actually in tune with what we want. I mean, even me…I spent the first part of my life heavily overweight due to stuffing my emotions down and then the good part of my 20s dieting to loose weight. In both instances I never was actually listening to what i did and didn’t want. Isn’t that scary? To thing that what life boils down to is really simply and fundamentally listening to what your soul and body wants.
My body doesn’t want 3 chocolate bars and 2 huge bowls of ice cream. It wants beautiful real food, sleep and exercise. It wants to release emotions and be connected spiritually and holistically.
We’ve silenced our souls and our spirit. We are not well. We are told how to be well. What foods are superfoods (which is always changing) And which ones will cause cancer. How much we should be doing something that we are not.
Instead of actually being still and paying attention. We crank up the volume of external validators which are flippant and soul draining….if they aren’t actually congruent with what we want for ourselves.
No change will stay permenant and be life giving if it doesn’t come for a source of healing, honesty and connection.
I recently ran a workshop where I had asked a couple of people to come and speak. Different topics, same underlying principle which embodied the idea of empowerment.
“stronger and more confident in claiming their life or rights”
One of the presenters was Faye Read, who is a birth alchemist, energy healer, and a soul which connects with past lives. I told my husband that I wanted to have a session with her, and I think that he thought I had lost my mind, but of course he is supportive. I to had thought “how is one – 1hr- session with an energy healing, angel talking to lady going to really help me? BUT I will give it a go!”
I sat for the first 1/3 of the hour neutral in my thinking and then BAM. It was as if the flood gates of clarity were opened up. The comments, the purpose, the connection was so clear to me. I had have spent HOURS (weeks really if all put together) talking about my feelings, trying to find a counsellor I connect with….and in one hour I felt like 2 years of ramble and circumvented conversation was filtered.
What I realised in that session is that I live in fear of my own power and I’m desperately disconnected on a holistic level with who I really am and what I really want. I am NOT standing in my own power and I do not feel totally empowered. Not because someone is taking my power away…but because I’m not connected to who I am.
A week later I was presenting on moods and emotions with essential oils and I started off the class:
When we look at our overall wellness, we have to remember that we are connected on a spirit, heart, and mind level. If one of those things is not being nurture or taken care of, then our wellness is compromised.
It was as if I was out of body. I heard myself speaking and while the words were flowing out of my mouth I new that was I was SAYING what right…but what I was DOING everyday was not congruent. I have known for a long time that I have to be more connected with who I am. There isn’t intense or overly satisfying empowerment in flogging yourself to hit targets or goals other people set out for you. I remember hitting the weight on the scale that I had always dreamed off and feeling empty. I had achieved a huge milestone, but I wasn’t empowered form a holistic level on a personal level. I was trying to make someone else happy.
The angst and burn-out in life comes deeply from the fact that we are not actually taking much control or paying attention to what we actually want. We are busy, too busy (I admit it), we don’t rest, we don’t nourish our bodies, and we don’t ground ourselves in a deeper knowledge of who we are. I struggle with this, because I always feel “too busy” to just be…and especially do things for myself. Be that exercise, meditation, taking a nap or even preparing good food. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it’s truth. I’m too busy making sure I’m making everyone else feel empowered or connected or happy…that I’m not doing that for myself. It’s exhausting.
So, it’s time to stop and re-connect. To practice what you preach. To ground and centre yourself. To be where you are. And to embrace a new sense of empowerment, courage and connection.
Hello beautiful people,
I’m currently lying in bed as my husband snores, writing and thinking about HOW NICE it is to be back blogging. I often talk about myself as a reformed blogger (once was a tinge bit busy blogging) but when the tipping point came to make it bigger I got scared. I didn’t want to the pressure that came with it.
Then I did more degrees, found a man, got pregnant, got married then had a baby. And in amongst it, I’ve been trying to re-carve out who I am as a woman.
Being a wife is one thing, but being a working mum is a total other layer. It is SO easy to loose yourself in the craziness and routine of every.single.day. It’s easy to crash on the couch with chocolate and not take yourself for a walk. It’s easy to still be wearing maternity clothes two years later, because to be honest they’re comfy and you have weight to loose. It is easy to think about your former life and be a bit jealous, that some how you want to transport yourself back to that place you were 9 years ago when really all do you was TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!
So, I’ve toyed with coming back to blogging and in some ways it’s not only a ‘coming back’ but it’s a YES to myself. Even if for the time that I write a post, or journal (if that is your thing) you’re giving yourself a YES each day to be present for YOU and your thoughts.
Yep. I’ve lost myself over the past couple of years. It’s shows in how I am and it shows in how I’ve grown. Both are good and bad, but more so they are observations for how I want to transform even more.
I have wanted to hide from my own story. I’ve really wanted to be something other then then the girl who has issues with weight and food and over-achieving.
But that is my story. And in my story there is a lot of wisdom and knowledge.
It’s ok to have your story and it’s ok to stand in its power. It doesn’t have to define you, but make sure that the power of your story is honored.
So, I’m back. Ready to transform again. Morphing. Excited.